Friday Jokes

Fargo Style Joke:

Why did the Human stick an aspirin in the Windex?

'Cause she heard there was a window pane!

Tubey Style Joke:

Why did the Human stick an aspirin in the Windex?

'Cause she was stupid!

Chex Mix Cheddar

My Human brought home a bag of Chex Mix Cheddar yesterday. She let us sample it. Here's our short opinions.

Lex: Liked it. But he'll eat anything. He was more interested in eating it that being intimidated by me.

Misha: Not good. He accepted it, but spit it out.

Fargo: Nope. He doesn't like snacking between meals.

Me: It's okay, but not as good as Cheez-Its.

Aurora: Yum Yum! She eats first, and the only question she asks later is "May I have some more?"

Niki: She wasn't around at sample time. She was outside or something.

Fargo Weatherman

Yesterday evening someone reached my blog while Googling the words "fargo weatherman too tall." This thrilled my Human because she knew just who this person was looking for:


My Human first saw "Too Tall" Tom Szymanski when she spent a night in Mankato, MN. Back then (in the early '90's) there weren't 3 million television channels, so she had to watch the local news. Mr. Szymanski gave his weather report in a truly unique fashion. The guy is 6 foot, 10 inches tall and he'd move in close to the camera for emphasis. My Human was there at the end of June and Mr. Szymanski had a really short guy help him change the calendar page.

A few years later, my Human was spending the night in Fargo, North Dakota and was thrilled to see Mr. Szymanski was doing the weather in that town.

So I guess whoever was looking for information on Mr. Szymanski was probably a bit surprised to find my blog entry. I'll close with a picture of my friend Fargo for comparison sake.

Squabbles

Meepie and Fargo have been giving me the grumble treatment. For some stupid reason they've been giving me attitude when I stare at them, stomp my foot, or get too close. Fargo in particular is grumbling when I try to lick his ears or his face. In the words of Mr. Dangerfield, "I get no respect!"

And that Niki...She's been hiding and yelling at us to try to scare us. We are aware of how sharp her teeth are, so we jump when she yells "BOO!" Last night Meepie and Roo Roo both lectured her on how improper her behavior is. Hopefully she won't yell at us during the night. I need my beauty sleep!

For a change I don't have any complaints about Lex. I haven't had to tell him that he was stupid at all yesterday or today (so far).

Day of Rest

I had a pretty busy weekend filled with running, digging, yelling, etc. Yesterday when the Human opened the gate to let us run around in the big field, the neighbor-cows came over to see us. I yelled to let my Human know to grab the camera to take a picture of the Tubey-cow. But she scared the cows and was not able to get a picture.

Cows are not very good at conversation. Meepie said, "Wooo." They said, "Mooo."

Mondays are a day of rest for us, because my Human has to go to her stupid job.

Yum!

Add watermelon to the list of foods that I like. On the recommendation of Dave, I had my first watermelon this weekend. And I loved it! My Human gave each of us some, but I liked it best.


Fargo's kind of weird when he is given something new to eat. He will carefully smell it. Then he may take it to be polite, but he will only eat it if it meets with his approval. He did not like watermelon.

Speaking of treats, Lex had to go to the vet yesterday. He said that the vet told my Human that he has to go on a diet. He also said that the vet and my Human talked about me being "newtered." Is that when a dog gets turned into a newt? I don't know if I like that. Lex laughed at me when I asked that. So I stomped my foot and yelled at him!

Husky Logo #14

There's this company in Winfield, KS that calls itself Husky Liners. They make all sorts of liners to put in cars, trucks, etc to protect them from damage.

But I don't have much to say about them. Why? Well, because they don't have a picture of a husky anywhere in their website. I even looked through all of the pages of the Google Image Search to find a "Husky Liner" logo with a husky in it. No joy! Stupid company! I think I'm going to ask the Army of Four to look into it.

Roo Roo wanted me to tell you that my Human's car has a husky hair liner throughout it. It keeps the dust from the gravel road in check.

Vacuums on the Prowl

My friend Dave, the Haik-woo author saw my post about the stupid Dyson Animal in our house. He had this to say:

"I don't wanna scare you or anything, but I've seen that SAME THING here at our house! You don't think they roam the country tormenting Sibes, do you? I don't LIKE that thing - it yells real loud. I can't understand what it's saying, either - I don't speak Dyson. I should ask Storm. She knows some foreign languages -- she even speaks cat. Anyway - here's a pic of one trying to attack Zimmie! Can you believe that?!!?"


Dave continued: "The vacuum we had before the Orecks and the Dyson had a light on it. We thought it was a fire-breathing dragon. Zim killed it. He slayed it. Here's a pic of the Z-man in action. He's such a cool little brother."


I think we all need to be concerned!

Cartoons

I found a cartoon yesterday that was so stupid that I had to stomp my foot and yell about it:


But it did inspire me to create my own cartoon:

Tubey, "to be," 2B

I've been wanting to use this heading for sometime, but it really doesn't have anything to do with this blog entry.


We've been doing a lot of digging in the big field. We were doing some excavation along the fence line, and do you know what my stupid Human did then? She filled a bucket full of our dog poop and then poured it into the nice trench we were making. She doesn't respect our craft!

Cowboy

This photo is one of Fargo's favorites. And this is why he got the nickname "Cowboy." My Human took Fargo to get his picture taken around Halloween (Howloween?) in 2001. He got this picture taken the same weekend that he tested for and got his Canine Good Citizen certificate.

Fargo is a good dog in public, but he has a really ornery side in private. If I'm in my box and my Human tries to go get some attention from Lex, the ever vigilant Fargo will sneak up on her and bite her butt. Not enough to hurt, but enough to startle her.

Haik-woos

Our friend Dave (pictured above) is a very talented Sibe. As a member of the "Army of Four, not only does he help his mom make quilts (as the guide dog for the color blind), but he has authored several fine haik-woos. Two of them are even about me!

"Breed All About It"

Yesterday morning my Human saw that the Breed All About It episode on Animal Planet was on Siberian Huskies. So she turned it on. She also was cruel enough to turn on the surround sound. Roo Roo and I looked around for where the huskies were. We finally found them in that big picture thing that a lot of humans have in their house.

At one point the huskies on the picture thing were running. I wanted to get there before them, so I took off. I even decided to leave my toilet paper tube I was destroying on the floor. But when I got back, it was gone. I don't want to point paws, but I think that one of the Alaskan Huskies on the show must've taken it. I know it couldn't have been a Siberian Husky!

Stupid Human Language

Why is the word "upholstery" not pronounced "UH-FOLSTERY?"

Husky Logo #13

Huskies who play hockey!!!!

This week's featured logo is for the New England Huskies Junior Hockey Club. I was trying to find their win/loss record, but it wasn't readily apparent. So, I assume they won some games and lost some others.

Go Huskies!!!!

July Featured Blog

Congrats to Mary-Margaret O'Brien for winning the "Awesome Blog Award" on the Dogs with Blogs site.

I will be the featured blog in July on that same site. Thanks for everyone for voting for me and stopping by my blog.

On the Furniture

I have read in the comments that some unfortunate dogs are not "allowed" on the furniture. Well, at our house we sometimes allow my Human to get up on the furniture. She had to get new sofa-couches so that she'd have a place to sit. She actually likes sleeping on the floor a lot of the time. She says that it makes her back feel better. Sometimes we sleep on the floor with her, and sometimes we sleep on the sofa-couches and/or bed. We have a lot of choices.

Sorry that I didn't have a new blog entry yesterday. I had to spend all day at a stupid meeting. I didn't learn anything of any value. Meetings are stupid!

And for those who care about this sort of thing, I spoke too early about the stupid birds in the attic. They're back!

And finally, who is this "Microsoft" and why do they keep wanting me to restart my computer?

Look What I Found

That stupid noisy thing in our house has a blog now! I don't talk vacuum, so I don't know what it's saying about me! I don't trust it!

Tall Grass Short

Tyler, my Human's employee finished shortening all of the grass in the big field. We enjoyed watching him work, but we hated the noise that the grass shortening machine made. He has a husky of his own, so that's why my Human knew that he'd be a good choice for the job.

After my Human got home, she let us run around in the big field and swim in our pool if we so chose. Lex and Niki didn't really like running around, but the rest of us did. At first we had a race. Roo Roo was the champion of that. She wanted me to show you the above photos of her winning the race. (And the below picture is Niki & Lex retreating to the house.)


There are few things happier than huskies running!


We didn't find any animals in the field, but Fargo said there was a mole or something under ground. He tried to dig it up, but it didn't stick around.

Mowing

Slowly the tall grass in the big field is being shortened. It grew so tall that we couldn't see each other when we were in it. And my Human couldn't see us, either. She hadn't let us run around in it for a while due to the height of the grass and the potential for us to get stupid ticks as stowaways.

I hate ticks! They're stupid!


I'm falling behind in the competition for "Awesome Blog." No pressure, but if you happen to vote for me, that would be great.

#1 Search Term

The number one search term that has led many readers to my blog is "birds in attic." Just this morning I had 2 hit on this very subject. Now, I didn't have any advice for the readers on what to do. I think that my birds flew away because I don't hear or smell them any longer.

It stormed a lot over the weekend. There was a lot of that noisy, stupid lighting & thunder going on. We all slept a lot yesterday to make up for the night before.

Roo Roo wants to remind you of the "Awesome Blog" competition. Your support would be appreciated, but you'll need to register.

Competition

I wasn't going to mention it, but since my esteemed competition did, my blog has been nominated for the "Awesome Dog Award" on Dogs with Blogs. You can vote for me here, but you have to register first.

I know I'm awesome, but awards are nice. Her supporter Opy is on the campaign trail and is trying to encourage others to post comments about how much better Yorkies are than huskies. I wooo'ed back with my opinion on that.

So vote for me if you'd like.

Balance

I am really liking the new sofas or couches or what ever the stupid humans are calling them. The photo on the left is me on the old sofa-couch. You will notice that I'm not on the back of it. I like being on the back of the sofa-couch because its just about the highest point in the house. When I'm up there I have a clear vantage point to see everyone and everythin. And my voice really carries when I am yelling and telling everyone that they are stupid.

In this photo on the right, I am on the back of the new sofa-couch. I'm a happy Tubey here. I'm staring at my Human's cell phone. I'm just waiting for it make that stupid noise. Humans are easily conditioned to do certain activities when they hear specific sounds. I'd imagine that all of your humans have some sort of stupid phone that they like to spend time on blah-blah-blahing about all sorts of stupid stuff. I know that my Human spends time on hers talking far too much. A lot of the time she's talking to her stupid friend LargeOh who sometimes posts comments on this blog.

Husky Logo #12

Some huskies in Wisconsin have figured out a way to make buildings look like log cabins by putting faux logs on the outside. This will cut down on the time that it takes the humans to make buildings for us and will also reduce the amount of trees that are required for these buildings.

Driver Seat

Lex spends a lot of time just lying around moping. He likes to pretend that he's the only dog. But it's my job to yell at him and tell him that he's not the only one here!

He's bragged about doing some fun stuff, though. Apparently he went with my Human to the supermarket one evening. He wasn't allowed to go into the store, however. I guess there's some stupid rules about that. So he had to wait in the car. When my Human was returning to the car, she heard a car horn honking. People were standing around smiling. As she approached the car she saw that ol' Lex was in the driver seat with his paw on the steering wheel. He was honking because the Human was taking a stupid amount of time to get done.

Over the Top

We've had success over the height of the new sofas! Our training is constant and vigilant.

Perhaps you will notice the subliminal message on that stupid TV thing.

In case you noticed that there were problems posting comments on blogs yesterday, Misha said that the humans are catching on to the dog bloggers and sallied that feeble attempt to disrupt our means of communication.

My Dinner Was Late!

My normal dinner time is around 6:30pm, but last night I didn't get fed until 9pm! My Human's stupid excuse was that she blew a stupid tire driving home. She said that it happened in an area with no cell service, so she had to walk about half a mile to call for help. She ended up having to wait well over an hour for the tow truck. She discovered that the stupid jack was missing from her stupid car. She even complained that the tire blew in a place that a skunk had died and she said it stunk! She seemed to think this was a bad thing!

I really think she could have, make that SHOULD have walked home. It was only about 3 miles away. Then she could have fed me relatively on time. And then she could have dealt with her stupid car and stupid tire!

I stomped my foot and yelled at her, but she didn't pay me any attention.

Friends from the Past, Part 1

A couple years ago my Human found out about a husky that was at the Human shelter. She decided to help find the husky a home, so she went over to visit. One of the shelter workers was fostering her, so there wasn't a chance of anything bad happening to Kyus.

Kyus had ended up in the shelter because her original humans said that she had a problem with crystals in her urine and they couldn't afford treatment. Ultimately it turned out that there wasn't a much of a problem at all. Kyus' foster humans decided to adopt her, so everything worked out.

My Human decided to invite Kyus and her husky roommate (and her humans) over for a visit one weekend. These photos are of Kyus. I think she's cute, but at the time I didn't like having any visitors that took my Human's attention away from me!

Meepie Wants You to Know...

Former Enron Corp. chief Kenneth Lay went to the same university that my Human went to, but it was a really long time ago. That's really about all that they have in common. My Human has never been really rich, but she's also never been convicted of conspiracy to commit securities fraud, either.

In 1999 Mr. Lay gave Mizzou $1.1 million dollars to endow a chair in economics in his name. The University never got anyone to sit in that really expensive chair, so the money remains unused. Now Mr. Lay would like the money back, but the University says that the gift is irrevocable. Also, the money can't be used for any other purpose. So a bunch of stupid humans from the University and Mr. Lay's representatives are trying to figure out what to do with the money. Mizzou insists that they are still trying to find someone to take the Kenneth Lay Chair in Economics.

Punctuation

Sometimes tails are like an exclamation point!


Sometimes they are more like a question mark?


Maybe sometimes a couple questions marks??


Perhaps a comma,


or an ellipse...


Sometimes there is no more discussion. Period.


The End