Promises

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Because today is the day that the Iowa Caucus is being held, I thought I should remind everyone what a Turbo Presidency would be about.

.....1. All my speeches will last no longer than 3 minutes.
.....2. Every speech will end with free flow cheese and bacon.
.....3. The following is a list of things that will be banned (it is not complete): lightning, thunder, stupid exploding things like fireworks, bumps on dogs, seizures, stupidity, hot weather, squirrels, mosquitos, ticks, thermometers, etc...
.....4. Steak on every plate.
.....5. Dog school reform.
.....6. Free vet care for puppies.
.....7. Protection of dog values.
.....8. End to human privatization of treat distribution.
.....9. Holidays to celebrate each dog breed.
....10. Discovery of new sources of peanut butter.
....11. Not only will I not be running negative advertisements that show how stupid my opponents are, I won't be running any adds on TV or radio because they are annoying.
....12. And a bunch of other stuff.

I realize I've not given an update on how much money I've raised for my campaign. So far it's $9,348,710,978,423,598,756,897,649,876.03.