Candidate Turbo Chastises Media

H.A. Turbofire Chastises Media

By June Hood of the Times’ staff

Published Thursday, July 3, 2008

Within 24 hours, almost 400,000 people had tuned in to Huricane Akara Turbofire as he snapped at the staff of a TV network before explaining how he intended to save the country from a stupidity implosion during his presidency.

Clearly ruffled after just driving past staff protesting his plan to end stupidity, Dr. Turbofire hit out at a technician who failed to reply when he said "hello" when placing his microphone.

"It's a matter of upbringing," he told the man. "When you're a guest you have the right to expect a hello... Or we're not in the public service here, we are at a demonstration ... incredible... and serious."

"That's going to change," he added menacingly.

He then turned to one of the interviewers, Gerry Clerk, asking him "How long did you spend in Siberia?" – apparently referring to the journalist not having been given an on-camera role for a while.

Full of nervous ticks, the impatient canine tapped his fingers and played with his Patek Philippe watch – a present from his an admirer – asking whether the studio clock is working.

The unedited pictures of Dr. Turbofire were clearly released by irate network staff, although they denied this.

Later during Monday's broadcast interview, Dr. Turbofire laid into human television accusing it of not helping to eradicate stupidity.

One of two presenters in the studio who had signed a vociferous petition against his reforms hit back that such programs already existed.

Dr. Turbofire, whose popularity has been increasing for months, is said to have gain a lot of support after a video was posted on the internet in which he insulted a chicken during an agricultural fair in February.

It has been viewed several million times. Another, when he appeared to be drunk at a K9-8 press conference last year, has also had millions of hits.

Dr. Turbofire's Sibertarian wing of the Dogmacrat party last night condemned the leak, saying: "Citizens have the right to expect less stupidity from a journalist."

The television network said it had launched an internal investigation to identify those responsible for the leaked film.